Well hello again. It has been a while I suppose. I have been fairly busy lately though. I just got back this past Saturday, July 5, from my vacation. What can I really say about that? It was awesome!! It was so good to see everyone, and we all had so much fun together. As usual, we were consumed by games... both old and new. We also had a lot of fun playing with the Wii, Matthew especially. We also had a surprise birthday party for my Uncle Rick, who was turning 50... now that was absolutely hilarious! We took a drive to Ocean City one day too, which was so fantastic. Beautiful weather, warm sand, and cool water. We rode on some rides first then split up into two groups. My grandmother, Ginny, Mel, Hannah, and I went to  Stewarts because we were all super hungry. Mmmmmm.... that certainly was delicious! We all met up afterwards. The rest of the group was getting something to eat and chatting so Hannah, Mel, and I went down to the beach. It felt so nice. We were just wading in the water and walking along the edge, but then I got a text... I turned around to check my phone (it was Jonathan... Yay!) and then.... *slam!!* ...I was hit by this rather large wave. Mel and Hannah thought that was just the funniest thing, which to be honest, it was pretty entertaining. Anyway, after that we went to the shirt shack! We spent like two hours in there...maybe more. It was so cool. I got an awesome necklace, an anklet for my mother, and the best hoodie ever!! It's just so completely awesome. So anyway, we all went to a tennis match the day before the 4th, which was pretty cool. It was in Delaware. We all dressed up like the crazy people we are... hats, patriotic shirts, glittery tattoos, wigs... we went all out. So of course we had our pictures taken several times before the games even started. Towards the end, we were told that we won the contest! Woot! The deal was, the most patriotic person would win their picture taken with the team... well, guess what? The whole lot of us won. It was pretty funny. Mel had gotten me an I ♥ NY t-shirt when they spent the day in NY, as well as a beautiful turtle necklace and some candy. Yum! :) Anyway, we went to Wheaton Village one day because us ladies (and Josh) wanted to shop!! Seriously though, all of the stuff there is so gorgeous it's crazy. Hand blown glass is so beautiful... I would like to take a tour of their factory one day, which is there as well. I got lots of cool stuff, and gifts for my friends. My main purpose in going though was to get Jonathan one of those glass creations. He had mentioned them before, but he had no idea that there was a factory practically in my hometown that made them. I looked at all of the circles and ovals... large and small. It was such a tough decision. I finally picked out this beautiful design. It was shaped just like a rising wave, and was clear with blue inside and some white touches here and there. Absolutely amazing. Well... he loved it!! YAY! Anyway, the whole trip was just so completely awesome!!! I can't wait to visit again...and hopefully, have someone to share it all with. ;D

 So... apparently Zac, Shelby, and Ryan were all caught the other day. Ryan informed me that Zac and Shelby are quitting everything, which to be honest, I doubt that will last very long. Ryan got in quite a bit of trouble. I did get a chance to talk to Zac for a quick minute today, which was nice. He confirmed most of this and also mentioned that Edd had told him what we're planning next weekend. I'm really quite glad he mentioned that, because I had forgotten when Edd was coming. Anyway, yesterday Jonathan sent me his "monthly text" as he put it. He is so strange and insists on acting so weird all the time. I guess I'm glad that he's trying to be friendly. I also heard from Andy last night, which was fairly random. We're supposed to hang out tonight...although I have no idea as to what we're going to do. His birthday is coming up soon though... May 5th or 6th I think. There are a TON of May birthdays! I can't believe it's almost May already, wow. So I haven't talked to Amanda C lately, but I've heard that she's getting an apartment. I'm not sure who with or when exactly, but it sounds pretty serious.. I've heard something about already putting money down. I really need to check with her about that. On to a new subject... work was sooooo hilarious today!!! I laughed so hard! Cindy, Lisa, and I were so funny today. I also got to decorate Lisa's van... with those car paints on her windows. It looks really good, and she was sooooo happy about it. It was fun. I am so ready to get out of work. I can't wait to get home and take a shower... I've been really hot all day, and it almost makes me want to take a cold shower... almost. ;) Anyway, last night I got a new bag. It's a messenger bag, and it is quite nice. I also got some cute shorts to sleep in and a few other things. Mel and I tried on several different pairs of shoes as well, but none really struck my fancy... or hers. I hope my birthday is okay this year. I'm kind of worried about it, but I guess that doesn't really help anything. Oh well... one step at a time. Oh dude!!... listen to this sappy crap... 

"The Robert Fulghum quote effects me like nothing I’ve ever read, almost completing me. It truly sums everything my heart has been looking for into a cute little package" 

Okay... that's kind of nice in a sad and somewhat pathetic way. Someone sent me this message on okcupid. *Rolls eyes* 

Well, that seems like a nice note to end on I suppose. Oh, and I really enjoy the song I'm listening to right now(Brown Eyed Girl)... it's just so happy sounding. It's cute I suppose. K, bye! :) 

Well, I suppose I shall start writing in this lovely online journal once again. Not really because anyone will read it, but merely for my own sanity. Edd's coming to visit again soon, which excites me so much! I can't wait to hang with him again. Per Edd, Zac broke up with Amy the other day. I haven't had a chance to talk to Zac personally, so I can't be sure on the details. Anyway, the day Zac apparently told Edd all of this was the same night that Zac had sent me that text. So... I suppose I'll try and talk to Zac at work tomorrow and get the scoop. You know, it's so odd how and when things happen. A couple people recently have started randomly talking to me again... it's very strange. Some I just don't mind at all, and some I don't really like. Anyway, it's strange... ever since Saturday night, I haven't felt tired. I guess it could be the fact that I got so much sleep, I'm not really sure though. I also haven't had much to eat lately, I just haven't been hungry, ya know? I didn't eat anything at all today until dinner, and even then I didn't really enjoy it nor did I want it. So... I got my camera today, and it is absolutely amazing! It can do sooo much, I love it. Tomorrow after work, my mother is going to Kansas City for her job. Now let's see... I will be taking Matthew to his tennis practice  tomorrow. Wednesday, I will be taking Matthew, Mel, and Amanda to church. Thursday is supposed to be more tennis, however, Melody has a ceremony that she must attend for some honorary club. I remember going to that... I was sooo afraid that I was going to fall while I was walking because I was wearing heels. Anyway, that is definitely priority number one. So... I think I will go into my room now.. light a candle.. put on some music and just lay there until I, if ever, become sleepy. Hehe... I was just going through some old documents... the good old days...    

  

Everything in this world is crazy and seems purposeless, but oh well, what can you do about that? All that's left right now is my mind, and I'm even starting to doubt that too. Have you noticed that I often do things that probably push people farther away? Well, yeah I don't know what that's about. Anyway, I guess I'll talk about normal stuff later on when I have more time. Bye.

Alright, quick over view of things... I got to talk to my friend Jessica today, although I do everyday. But I also got to talk to my buddy Lindsey, and right before that I got to talk for like 12 seconds to Chris. That was random, but I don't care. I have to prepare a 20 minute speech for English, a lot of people do actually. My author is Thomas Pynchon. My speech is over his book Gravity's Rainbow. I also have to prepare a 3-5 minute speech on fossil fuels for Ecology by Monday. That won't be hard, but it just seems like a waste of my time. Anyway, scale test tomorrow, gay, gay, gay. Vocabulary test tomorrow as usual. Tomorrow afternoon, I have to get home and figure out what is going on. Then make phone calls and such. Then, if all goes well, pick up Eddie at our church around 7:15 and go to Nashville. Do nothing really but stand around and talk and listen to bands at Rocketown until midnight, then go home, and supposedly get online to talk to Rayce. Sounds kind of busy, who knows though? Well I hope all of you are doing well. If not, well then I hope things get better, which of course they will. Oh yeah, everyone is getting sick. So much crap is going around right now, like strep throat and that stomache virus thing. I probably had strep throat, but I stopped going to the doctors a few years ago so I'll never really know. Oh yeah, my karass is Elizabeth Bailey, Alison(sp?)Golden, Kyle Blau, and myself. Not too bad, so I guess I can't really complain. I'm tired, I'm going to bed now. Everyone have a good weekend, goodnight. Oh yeah, if any of you want something for Christmas let me know. Later.

Hey, I guess I haven't updated in a while. I don't really have much time now either. I will say however, that we followed through with my family's "thanksgiving tradition." Now you're probably wondering what that is. Well, every year on Thanksgiving I get sick..fun, yes, I know. Oh well, I guess I should be used to it by now. Oh, and just because I haven't updated in a while does not mean that I haven't been reading your updates, because I have. Well, this week is going to suck, at least until Friday night. Anyways, this semester is almost over. I'm out of it right now, and I can't breathe. "This is me with the words on the tip of my tongue And my eye through the scope down the barrel of a gun Remind me not to ever act this way again This is you trying hard to make sure that you're seen With a girl on your arm and your heart on your sleeve Remind me not to ever think of you again" Bye.

[Spell your first name backwards] Idnarb
[The story behind your screenname]my name and a number...twice
[How old are you] 16
[Where do you live] Hendersonville, TN

Describe Your...

[Wallet] It's black.
[Jewelry Worn Daily] Fish necklace, class ring, bracelets.
[Pillow Cover] It depends on where I sleep.
[Coffee Cup] I don't usually drink it.
[Shoes] $10 black shoes from Walmart.
[Backpack] Its black with zippers and pockets and what not.
[Favorite Shirt] The one I'm gonna make tomorrw and my black shirts.
[Favorite Pants] The black ones with the white stripes down the sides.
[Cologne/Perfume] Don't usually go for that, deodorant works fine.
[What are you wearing now] Delirious hoody and some purple pants.
[CD in stereo right now] a mixed 70s cd
[Hair] Long sort of, brown, usually straight.
[In my mouth] My teeth and tounge, plus some wires.
[In my head] Why? Why? I just don't know why.
[Wishing] I were at Kelly's house with her and Eddie.
[After this] Sleep perhaps.
[Talking to] Josh and Jeff.
[Some of your favorite movies] Fiddler On The Roof, The Crow, Edward Scissorhands, Puff The Magic Dragon,
[Something you're looking forward to in the next couple of months]Going to either New Jersey or Georgia for Christmas I believe. Building the new friendships. Church...that whole deal is very exciting. The things that God is going to do in other's lives. Prayer is so strong right now, its amazing. Never give up on prayer, I've been praying for certain people before they even knew me. Its been working.
[The last thing you ate] crackers.
[Something you are deathly afraid of] Not living up to my moral standards, giving up, losing faith, failing, being changed by other people. People in general.
[Do you like candles] Yeah.
[Do you like incense] Some.
[Do you believe in love] Yes.
[Do you believe in soulmates] Yes.
[Do you believe in love at first sight] No..I don't think so.
[What are 3 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to] Millville, NJ, somewhere in Vermont, or somewhere near Evansville, GA
[What are some of your favorite pig-out foods]Hamburgers i guess, Hawaiian bread.
[What's something you wish you could understand better] Life. People.
[My father thinks I am] I honestly don't know what he thinks about me.
[My mother thinks I am] insane, yet sure of my identity i guess you could say.
[My grandma thinks I am] someone who will listen to her and who shares a mutual love for the things that she loves.
[Your best three qualities] I'm an excellent listener, I can draw well. I'm me and understand the fact that I am who I am and shouldn't be changed no matter what. Plus I can rollerblade like no other.
[Three worst qualities] I dislike a lot of people, I'm often too persistent, and I don't like to talk much.
[What makes you happy] Relatives, music, the North, people like Eddie and Kelly.
[Upsets you] Tennessee, when people I like or care about hate me.
[Do you have a diary] Is this one? I try to keep a journal every year, but it never works.
[You like to cook] Not necessarily like to, but I will... anything with directions.
[You have a secret that you haven't shared with anyone] I'm sure I do.
[You talk in your sleep] No.
[You set your watch a few minutes ahead] No.

Last...

[Movie you rented] i don't remember
[Movie you bought]Edward Scissorhands.
[Song you listened to] Dust In The Wind
[Song that was stuck in your head] Brandy(You're A Fine Girl)
[Song you downloaded] nothing
[CD you bought] ZZTop Greatest Hits or something like that.
[CD you listened to] 70's cd, i forget what 70s year it was.
[Person you've called] Butch
[Person that called you] Kaitlin
[TV show you've watched] Whose Line
[Person you were thinking of] a few people... Eddie, Racye, Joshua, the guy in my very strange dream.
Do you…

[Wish you could live somewhere else] Yes, in NJ or Vermont, maybe even GA.
[Think about suicide] Only when I'm bored.
[Think others find you attractive] Just the retards and some distant relatives...hmm.
[Want more piercings] how about some repiercings?
[Want more tattoos] Perhaps.
[Like cleaning] No.
[Like roller coasters] Depends on who else rides.
[Write in cursive or print] Both.
[Carry a donor card] Nope.
[Have a crush on somebody] Of course. There's one guy that some of you know, and then there's another here and there... mainly at church.

Have You...

[Ever cried over a boy/girl] Yeah, when Kyle was screaming at me and suggesting things that he had no clue about.
[Ever lied to someone] Yes, to a few people when it was necessary.
[Ever been in a fist fight] Yes, nothing too serious though.
[Ever been arrested] Nope, only one close call.

Number...

[Of times you've been in love] Love vs. Lust. I've lusted a few times, thought I was in love twice, and still feel love for the one I still see now and then.
[Of times you've had your heart broken] Probably just one true heartbreak... Jason.
[Of guys/girls you kissed] none.
[Of people you consider your enemies] A lot, mainly those that I don't even know.
[Of CD's that you own] Quite a few, over 24 probably.
[Of times your name has appeared in the newspaper] A few times that I know of.
[What do you notice first] Eyes maybe, the way a person acts.
[Last person you slow danced with] Troy at Jared's wedding.
[Makes you laugh the most] Shane
[Makes you smile] Eddie
[Has a crush on you] Well I guess I have my suspicions maybe, I don't know for sure though.

10 bands you've been listening to a lot lately:
1.Foreigner
2.Joe Walsh
3.Led Zeppelin
4.ZZ Top
5.Warren Zevon
6.Meat Loaf
7.Nick Gilder
8.Eddie Money
9.Kansas
10.Eric Clapton/The Beatles/The Eagles

09 things you look forward to:
1.Leaving Tennessee.
2.Talking more to Racye.
3.Making my t-shirt tomorrow.
4.Making the t-shirts for Shane, Ed, Chris, and LB.
5.Seeing my buddies at church this Wednesday.
6.Going to college(hopefully in NJ)
7.Meeting Jeff, hopefully working with him if I move up there.
8.Listening to the rest of the 70s cds that my uncle just gave me.
9.Christmas

08 things you like to wear:
1.comfortable pants
2.Delirious hoody
3.t-shirts
4.jeans everynow and then
5.my cigar pajama pants
6.my black and white goodwill skirt
7.Aunt Ginny's jacket that I just got
8.shoes

07 things that annoy you:
1. Idiots
2. Fast food places.
3. People.
4. My Dad.
5. My kittens.
6. Chain letters.
7. People.

06 things you say most days:
1. Hey.
2. How's it going?
3. This sucks.
4. Amen.
5. We have a test.
6. I hate Tennessee.


05 things you do everyday:
1. Eat.
2. Sleep.
3. Go to school.
4. Talk.
5. Become annoyed.

04 people you want to spend more time with:
1. Eddie
2. dream boy
3. Racye
4. Kelly/Lindsey

03 movies you could watch over and over again:
1. That Thing You Do
2. Left Behind
3. Audition...geez, yeah right.

02 of your favorite songs at the moment:
1. Werewolves of London ~Warren Zenov/Life's Been Good ~Joe Walsh
2. Hot Blooded ~Foreigner

01 person you could spend the rest of your life with: Shane?

sweet, another typical day sort of. i went on a field trip, oh yeah! to the Madison Art Center or something like that, then a small place in Hillsburro i think, then the Frist. i had a good time. after visiting all of the art galleries and such, we got some lunch. Lauren and i ate at Wendys... so did a lot of other people too though. she reminds me of my aunt, its neat. we talked quite a bit on the way home so it wasn't too boring or whatever. man, the roses and the canadian flag???... very original, i'll give him that. funny as crap, Jessica didn't think so though. well tonight i went to church and i went into the gym because we were really early. i drew a picture when i was in there, and i think it looks pretty good. when i went into the church, i was ambushed by Kelly. actually, she just gave me a hug/tackle thing. shortly after that though, Eddie and Chelsea i think it was walked in. he called me over right away and i thought it was going to be about the note i gave him last Sunday night. however, it wasn't. he just wanted to show me the new DVD he got with all these awesome bands on it... i was like "sweet!!!" and he was like "no, awesome!!!" he got a new jacket too, i guess for his birthday. i like it. Shane told us tonight after church that we are going to be able to do Champion... oh yeah! overall tonight was good. as i was leaving though, i saw Ryan showing Mrs. McDonald some of his art work. i really wish i could have seen it. ok, well tonight(online)i talked to Davey. yes, i finally did it and i'm still alive and well. he's supposed to be helping out sunday night also. ok well i think i'm going to do one of those friends things(and yes people who don't even read this will be included), so here goes.
~Lindsey-you're my best friend. i can trust you with anything and everything. you're one of the most dependable people i know. man, we've been through a lot and of course i'll never forget that summer in Florida. plus all of your "buddies", man you had a lot. creative writing was really fun with all of those stories that were inspired by our summer experiences. i'm glad we still find time to hang out and talk, especially with our schedules and stuff. "i love "me"!"...boy that's confusing. :)
~Jessica-you rock my face off... most of the time. you've allowed me to take some steps out of my comfort zone and to become more socially involved i guess you would say. plus you're pretty dependable.
~Kelly-you're cool. i love hanging out with you, and i look forward to receiving your hugs each time i see you. we really seem to be able to relate to each other and we build each other up. through thick and thin girl, oh yeah!
~Eddie-well we're a lot alike, and we usually can relate to whatever it is people have decided to say about us. Shane, in my opinion, is a wonderful teacher and speaker and whatever else. however, his comments aren't always well thought out. i disagree with a lot of the things that he has said, and i'm sure i'll disagree with a lot of the things that he will say in the future. it sucks, but that's how it is and we just have to get over it and not worry about some of those things. i know how he makes you feel because i've felt that way before. you'll get through it though. you're also one of the people that i feel like i can depend on. some people may judge you or see you as a certain type of person, but they never get to know you. well, i know you and you're a great christian who i would go to and talk about some religious thing with. i trust you.

well, i'll have to finish this later. bye

alright, yesterday was one of the best days i've had in quite a while. this Champion thing that we're going to do for the church anniversary thing is going to be awesome. with the strobe lights and the angels... and of course the sweet demons(i am one of them). Josh Lewis is satan. Jay is God. Kyle is Jesus. and then there's the angels(Amanda is one of them), and the demons. its neat, we get to fall and die at the end... oh yeah! exciting, i know. well, sunday school was good, and then that afternoon my dad and i put a kingsize bed together, that was fun. watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off(sp?) i love that movie. i also love talking to Rayce, but that's another story. yesterday afternoon i started reading this Hug Therapy book i found, neat stuff. ahhhh, i feel crazy right now, like i need to rush because i have a lot of stuff to do. oh well, i have much more to say, but i'll save it for another time and place. later. Davey... where have you gone???